Jokes: Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

Stop me if you’ve read this one…  Got this in an email from a friend we’ll call C-Dizzle.  Actually, that is who I get most of my crazy emails from, but that in no way is a reflection on the sender, of course ;-)  And naturally, please don’t take any of this as medical advice, but if you do, please seek medical advice.  Oh, and don’t sue us, because we don’t have any money. 

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies
1. If you’re  choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat.  Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you’ll be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD- 40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and   should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 

Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR  ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE  STAIRS

If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.